


slice the void in aimless flight

by psychomachia



Category: Sengoku Basara
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-22
Updated: 2014-12-22
Packaged: 2018-03-02 18:27:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2821922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychomachia/pseuds/psychomachia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The lesson Ōtani Yoshitsugu learned was that the gods have it out for you from the beginning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	slice the void in aimless flight

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Croik](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Croik/gifts).



_Keimatsu_

There is a story of how Ōtani Yoshitsugu received his childhood name, for a child has one name and a man has another. As with most stories of the time, its veracity is dubious, and yet, it persists to these days.

Yoshitsugu's mother was unable to bear children, or specifically, male ones. She prayed to a shrine of Hachiman Daibosatsu and as she did so, a pine tree fell in front of her. She ate the needles from a branch of it and gave birth to a boy. The father, overjoyed, named the child Keimatsu, to indicate his reverence for the answered prayer. 

The lesson we might learn is that the gods answer our prayers and we reward them with our devotion. 

The lesson Ōtani Yoshitsugu learned was that the gods have it out for you from the beginning. 

_Sakichi_

There is a legend, possibly untrue, that tells of Ishida Mitsunari's life before he met Yoshitsugu, before he sparred with Ieyasu, before he served Hideyoshi. That such a thing could exist may seem impossible, but every man was free from chosen bonds once. 

It is said that he was a monk in a temple, a man who chose to dedicate his life to a higher power, a divine being he could devote his passions to. And perhaps, if this had been his true calling, he might have had some form of peace in his life. 

But of course, this legend is untrue, as it must be, for how could Mitsunari have served anyone but Hideyoshi? 

And how can you serve faithfully more than one god?

_yoriki_

Yoshitsugu's first true master was never Hideyoshi, though he was the first to take him into his service. You may respect a man, believe in his ideals, and follow your father into becoming his retainer, but you will know if you are truly loyal when someone greater comes along. 

Mitsunari's faith shook when he met Hideyoshi. 

Yoshitsugu's came into existence the day he saw Mitsunari on a battlefield, dashing through bodies as a silver light that left nothing but pain and death in his wake. It was a sword flashing too fast for the light to see and a head hitting the ground in the time it took a normal man to pull his own from his scabbard.

It was a man outrunning a horse, of all things, inflicting destruction wherever he went, never stopping, never faltering in his desire to kill everything before him. 

And Yoshitsugu thought, yes, this is something I must protect. 

_Heima_

Mitsunari is a good friend, a close one. They fight together on the battlefield and between Mitsunari's blade and Yoshitsugu's curses, they annihilate armies. If one is in danger, the other protects, and over the years, a bond forms. Sakon arrives later to serve Mitsunari (another pretty boy, people whisper, and goodness, there are many fine-looking young men out there willing to slaughter each other), but Yoshitsugu contents himself with the knowledge that he was there first. 

It doesn't hurt that he has the advantage that while Sakon would probably like to sleep with Mitsunari, Yoshitsugu has already beaten him to the punch. 

It happened one night after battle when Mitsunari pushes him down, hopped up on adrenaline and praise from his leader (why that must always be what drives him is something Yoshitsugu will not admit he is jealous of. They grapple, for men like them must fight even in this, until Yoshitsugu allows himself to submit to his leader's authority. He allows himself to be taken by Mitsunari, for he knows there is only one man Mitsunari will ever let take himself be taken by. 

In the morning, they do not speak of it, though Yoshitsugu knows it will happen again. 

He has known it will happen since over a year ago when he began laying down the groundwork for it. Such things are too precious, too delicate to rely on mere luck and Mitsunari's passions. If this is one of the first manipulations on his part to get his master to do something, at least, it has a positive outcome.

(That later schemes will not be quite so beneficial is something not yet in Yoshitsugu's mind, though the time is rapidly drawing near.)

 __

 _White Face_

One death is a tragedy. One million is a statistic. 

But apparently one thousand is a blasphemy.

It is strange, Yoshitsugu thinks, as he sees the first lesions form on his hands, that after so many deaths he has directly caused and indirectly been responsible for, it is this that the heavens choose to smite him for. A mere riot will be the end of him, nothing grand and glorious (such as a death at the hands of Mitsunari), but a wretched disease.

At first, of course, he thought to battle it the same he fought everything. He prays daily, he visits shrines, he reads books to find some form of magic he can use, but nothing seems to work. Each day the lesions grow and Mitsunari's face becomes more concerned. He urges all sorts of treatments and takes him to as many healers as he can find. 

One healer, grave and pious, suggests he has perhaps angered the heavens and should seek to find a way to appease them. Yoshitsugu slits his throat and burns his house down. 

Each day, as the pain grows worse and his mind grows cloudier from it, his anger grows. 

At first, he just hates himself for letting this happen to him, for not being stronger. 

Then he hates his country, the land that tears itself apart, the weakness of all who live on it. He hates the soldiers who talk behind his back; Hideyoshi, who talks kindly to him, inquiring about his health; Sakon, who is probably getting fucked by Mitsunari right now. 

Then he hates the world .He hates humanity, he hates any god who may exist, he hates everyone who has ever lived or will ever live in this world. He hates anyone who isn't as miserable as him, who isn't suffering in agony and torment. 

The next morning brings more pain, but delightfully, it also brings clarity. And Yoshitsugu knows that for however the long the rest of his life may be, he now has a purpose in it. 

_Osaka_

Yoshitsugu does not hate Mitsunari. 

He could, he knows. He could easily hate him for being healthy, for not needing to be carried into battle. He could hate him for his incessant devotion to Hideyoshi, even though their lord already has Hanbe, who's already devoted to him. 

(He hates Hanbe, for having Hideyoshi's attention during his own illness, for not needing to hide himself behind layers of bandages and armor, for manipulating Mitsunari, when everyone should know that's his responsibility.)

He could hate Mitsunari for the touches, once fiery and burning, that have turned to calm and gentle. Where once they clawed and bit, marking each other, now Mitsunari covers up the marks on him. patiently bathing them. He wraps his aching limbs in clean bandages, places cool cloths on his forehead during his fevers, holds his hand as he screams in pain during some of the worst nights. 

Some might think he hates Mitsunari. After all, he will use him for his plans. Hanbe does not have the monopoly on clever schemes, and Mitsunari is too excellent a weapon to be left neglected. His obsessive devotion can be turned in just the right direction, his passion used to inflict the maximum amount of suffering on every living creature.

Except Mitsunari.

Because he has heard men laugh behind his back, make disparaging remarks about his ugliness, pity and be repulsed by him openly. And he has seen Mitsunari with blood on his hands and those same men now quivering piles of pulp.

Because Mitsunari has never claimed he is incapable in battle and always trusts him to watch his back.

Because he drank that cup of tea without wincing once and though Mitsunari may always say he did it so that the ceremony wouldn't be spoiled, he's not a very good liar.

That's all right. Yoshitsugu is. 

__

_Gyōbu_

Hideyoshi is dead. 

Yoshitsugu is not terribly upset about this. It does change his plans slightly, but his true loyalty hasn't been to Hideyoshi in quite some time. On the other hand, Mitsunari...

Well, Mitsunari is rather deranged at this point, which is fairly helpful for Yoshitsugu, since it means he has no reason left, nothing to stop him from burning the world to the ground.

He rants and rails about Hideyoshi and plots bloody, elaborate revenge against Ieyasu for his betrayal. 

Yoshitsugu is a bit upset about that. It seems one obsession has been replaced by another, and while it admittedly is good as a distraction, it does mean that Mitsunari spends a good portion of his time thinking about another man. When he's not distracted by thoughts of his departed lord.

It is a good thing that Mitsunari has someone looking out for him, guiding his path to a conclusion. Certainly it is a conclusion that will, if done right, make everyone else in the world utterly miserable, but Mitsunari...

Well, he won't think about that right now. 

Instead, he'll let himself listen to the soothing sounds of Mitsunari's latest tirade against Ieyasu as he lets his failing senses lull him to sleep. 

_Sekigahara_

The last thing Yoshitsugu sees in eyes too dim to see in the distance is Mitsunari.

**Author's Note:**

> Inhale, exhale  
> Forward, back  
> Living, dying:  
> Arrows, let flown each to each  
> Meet midway and slice  
> The void in aimless flight --  
> Thus I return to the source.  
> \--Gesshū Sōko


End file.
